"Live your life like you're 80 looking back on your teenager years. You know if your dad calls you at eight in the morning and asks if you want to go out for breakfast. As a teenager you're like no, I want to sleep. But as an eighty year old looking back you have that breakfast with your dad. It just little things like that, that helped me when I was a teenager in terms of making choices you won't regret"

                                                                                                                        - Taylor Swift.

We don't commit now. We don't see the point. They've always said there are so many fish in the sea, but never before has the sea of fish been right at our fingertips on OkCupid, Tinder, Grindr, Dattch, take your pick. We can order up a human being in the same way we can order up a Pizza at Dominos. We think intimacy lies in a perfectly-executed string of emoji. We think effort is a "good morning" text. We say romance is dead, because maybe it is, but maybe we just need to reinvent it. Maybe romance in our modern age is putting the phone down long enough to look in each other's eyes at dinner. Maybe romance is deleting Tinder off your phone aften an incredible first date with someone. Maybe romance is still there, we just don't know what it looks like now. When we choose - if we commit - we are still one eye wandering at the options. We want the beautiful cut of filet mignon, but we're too busy eyeing the mediocre buffet, because choice. Because choice. Our choices are killing us. We think choice means something. We think opportunity is good. We think the more chances we have, the better. But, it makes everything watered-down. Never mind actually feeling satisfied, we don't even understand what satisfaction looks like, sounds like, feels like. We're one foot out the door, because outside that door is more, more, more. We don't see who's right in front of our eyes asking to be loved, because no one is asking to be loved. We long for something that we still want to believe exists. Yet, we are looking for the next thrill, the next jolt of excitement, the next instant gratification. And, even if we find it. Say we find that person who loves us. Commitment. Intimacy. "I love you". We do it. We find it. Then, quickly, we live it for others. We tell people we're in a relationship on Facebook. We throw our pictures up on Instagram. We become a "we". We make it seem shiny and perfect because what we choose to share is the highlight reel. We don't share the 3am fights, the reddened eyes, the tear-stained bedsheets. We don't write status updates about how their love for us shines a light on where we don't love ourselves. We don't tweet 140 characters of sadness when we're having the kinds of conversations that can make or break the future of our love. This is not what we share. Shiny pictre. Happy couple. Love is perfect. 

There's 17 things I learned when I was 17:
1. People will promise to never leave you. They will. It's okay to be sad when they do.
2. It's always okay to cry. Always. Find a bathroom, burry your face in your pillow. Cry in the car. Cry when you need to.
3. Boys will flirt with you for a while and then ignore you. Then, they will flirt with you some more. It will be confusing. You have every right to stop putting up with it.
4. Pay attention to what people say when they're angry. When you make up and they tell you they didn't mean any of it, know that they did. Also know that they wish they didn't. Forgive them.
5. Never pretend to be someone you're not. If you don't like tea and classic novels, don't act like you do to impress people. If you don't want to wear leather jackets and combat boots, don't wear them to please someone else.
6. People will be mean to you: they will spread lies, call you names and talk about you behind your back. Eventually you will realize that it's petty and stupid and not worth your time. You'll be right. Move on with your life.
7. Your friends will not always be there for you. When you really need to talk, they will sometimes not want to hear ir. That's okay. Take a deep breath and remember all the times you felt the same way. Exhale.
8. You will wait and wait for your first kiss and your first date and your first relationship. The anticipation will kill you. You will keep trying to find the right person in everyone you meet. Relax. The best things happen unplanned.
9. Enjoy being young. Love that everything is spontaneous. As you get older, things become more and more scheduled out. Embrace the fact that you aren't there yet.
10. Tell people how you feel. It will be terrifying in some cases and gratifying in others. It will create relationships and ruin them. But speak you mind, even if your voice shakes, because your thoughts may never otherwise be heard. 
11. Sleep. If you go to bed late, sleep in. If you're still tired when you wake up, go back to bed. If you can't stay awake during the day, take a nap. Sleeping is a foolproof way of getting rid of your problems for a little while. Utilize it.
12. Talk to people. Talk to your sister about the guy she likes. Talk to your mom about her childhood. Talk to your dad about his favourite books. Talk to your grandparents about their families. Talk to your friends, talk to your pets, talk to the cute waitress at the restaurant. Learn things from them. Be inspired.
13. Always bring a sweater. Even if you think it won't be cold.
14. Try new things. Eat a new food, try a new kind of juice, switch up the way you dress. You never know what you might end up loving. Life can get boring. Mix it up a bit
15. Take care of yourself. Wash your hair with that good smelling soap you love. Eat fruits and vegetables. Drink lots of water. Go for long walks in pretty parks.
16. School is important. Try your hardest. If you don't get something, ask for help. Show your teachers that you're willing to work hard and when it comes time to apply to collegues, you'll be glad you did.
17. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, funnier or more popular than you. The beauty of it is that it isn't a competition.

Estamos conociéndonos rápidamente y dejándonos ir a la misma velocidad. Damos nuestros datos y los escondemos igual de rápido. Constantemente nos conectamos y desconectamos. Rechazamos cualquier cosa que parezca remotamente una cita o cualquier tipo de situación donde alguien podría resultar dañado. Pero, ¿por qué? ¿de dónde salieron todos estos rechazos? ¿cuándo nos convertimos en una generación que no termina nada¿ ¿cuándo empezamos a rendirnos a mitad de camino sólo porque preferimos irnos a casa que ver lo que podría estar esperándonos al otro lado? ¿cuándo dejamos de querer jugar y nos empezamos a convertir en esos niños que sólo miran el juego? En algún momento del camino nos volvimos menos atrevidos, con menos confianza y menos agallas. En algún momento del camino decidimos que era más fácil rechazar a las personas que darles una oportunidad:
1. Tenemos miedo.
Es más fácil dormir por las noches si sabes que te alejaste. Es más fácil decir que fuiste tu quien terminó. Es más fácil dañar a alguien antes de que esa persona tenga la oportunidad de hacerte daño a ti. Pero, ¿es mejor estar solo y perder oportunidades o es mejor arriesgarse a sufrir un poco?
2. Nunca es el momento indicado.
¿Cuándo es el momento indicado para conocer a alguien? ¿cuándo es el momento indicado para tener una relación? Noticias de último minuto: no existe el momento indicado para enamorarse. O sucede o no sucede. No pasa cuando estás lista financieramente o cuando estás emocionalmente preparada. No sucede cuando has decidido que es el momento y todo está en orden. Sucede cuando no estás listo. Sucede cuando tu vida está en caos y eres un puto desastre.
3. Pensamos que son demasiado buenos para nosotros.
Asumir que alguien es demasiado bueno para nosotros es sacar el corazón de tu pecho y entregarlo en bandeja de plata. ¿Por qué estás cediendo todo el poder? Todos somos iguales, especialmente en el amor. Sólo porque ella puede que sea la más guapa con la que has estado o él el chico más apuesto que conoces no significa que merezcan tu miedo. Rechazar a las personas porque tienes miedo de que te hagan daño es como retirarse antes de que comience la vida.
4. Ocultamos el entusiasmo por alguien.
La opinión de los amigos y desconocidos se ha convertido en una opinión válida en esta nueva cultura de citas que hemos creado. Solemos ocultar muchos datos de las relaciones que tenemos para evitar que se nos vea demasiado entusiasmados. Así evitamos que nos digan "te lo dije" si luego todo termina. Pero cuando se trata de amor, eso no existe. Si esa persona te hace feliz o podría llegar a hacerte feliz, entonces, ¿por qué tienes que ocultarlo? ¿por miedo a que salga mal?
5. Vimos algo y no lo podemos olvidar.
Ya sea un pequeño tic en su ojo o una risa extraña. Nos gusta encontrar algo que nos dé la razón para alejarnos. Porque todos estamos buscando la perfección y la perfección no existe.


- Candela Duato.

La inseguridad es un sentimiento que se transmite, algo que se nota, la gente puede verlo, ya sea en tu forma de caminar, de actuar o incluso de hablar. Para evitarla debes tener clara una máxima: nada en tu vida es imposible, querer es poder. Nadie debe hacernos dudar del camino elegido, sino ser fuertes y positivas en todo momento; porque si sabemos cuál es nuestra meta, es cuestión de seguir adelante sin tambalearse. Nadie dijo que la vida fuera fácil.

En algún momento te darás cuenta que has hecho demasiado por alguien, que el siguiente paso sólo puede ser pararse. Dejarlo solo y alejarte. No es que estés renunciando o que no lo hayas intentado con suficientes fuerzas. Es que debes entender que has sobrepasado la línea de la determinación hacia la desesperación. Lo que es verdaderamente tuyo, tarde o temprano lo será, y lo que no lo es, no importa lo mucho que te esfuerces, nunca lo será.

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same as making a "life". I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.